SAHD Stories and Advise

Here I will share my own funny stories, quotes and anecdotes.  I will also publish stories heard from the Raleigh Stay-At-Home-Dad group.  The more experienced dads have great stories...warning us of what is ahead.  The really cool thing about this group (or any regular dads group) is that you get to see the kids, and parents, grow. The stories help illustrate the developing personalities.  Enjoy...

If you have some dad stories, please post/comment...I would like to hear them.

A Full Monte at the Kitchen Sink:

Washing dishes one morning, the silent stealthiness of a 8mo old caught me unaware.  He was learning to pull up and get on his he had many times before.  This time it was a bit hands occupied with soapy glassware...and my "house shorts" loosely tied around my waist.  As he worked up the back of my calf, the next rung of the baby-ladder was my shorts...and down they went!!!  There I was, pants down at the sink...crawler on the floor looking up at me like it was my fault.  
Decision: do I pull up my shorts, attend to my struggling son, or finish washing the wine glass in my hands.  I didn't hear any crying, so he was OK for the moment, the cool air was refreshing ...and the wine glass was a momento from a NC-wine-tour.  Wine, shorts, son...but as I finished washing the glass, I throught, "what if he tries this shorts are down, and he might try to pull up one more time.  Priorities just changed...shorts, glass.  Just another  day on the job.

Smuggling LEGOs:

The other day I had to visit the Cary AutoPark Honda dealership to pick up a part.  My little guy is always in tow, so he entertained the sales staff while I picked up the part.  This Honda dealership actually has a great play room with big LEGOs and several interactive toys for all ages.  I got the part, decided to have some free popcorn and let Tyler play in the kids room.  I opened the parts box to check it out before leaving and spent 15-20 min playing in the room with my son. 
On the way out, we were talking to some sales staff outside...they commented on how cute he was and "why was I here?"  So, I opened the parts box to show them and inside was a LEGO!!!  Yikes...that shouldn't be there.  I've been teaching my son to pick up after himself at home and apparently he decided that toy belonged in my box.  Ha Ha.  Everyone was cracking up...and we made sure to return it (and grab another bag of popcorn).

"Banana In The Tailpipe Trick"

A hilarious movie reference for anyone reading this...or at least it should be.   If you get it, read on...if not...go watch Beverly Hills Cop and pay attention to Eddie Murphy.  (I digress)
At the end of a play date, all the dads were standing around the cars deciding where to go next.  My little dude (who recently discovered mulch) was picking it up and sticking it in the tailpipe of my Ford Edge.  This immediately started a 10 min "movie quote conversation" amongst the dads.  (guys do this a lot...have an entire conversation of movie quotes, with out one original is a talent we're born with).   We jumped from all genre of movies and were just cracking up!.  So much so...that no one noticed my son continued to stuff mulch in both pipes.  Thanks Dads!

Mysterious Stinky Diaper: 
A few weeks back, I was brewing beer with a few dads from my group (see, told you we were cool, and yes...there is a safe way to do it so kids are burned or drunk).  We were all on the deck outside with the kids and I smelled something funky.  So I grabbed my little guy and checked his diaper...clean, no problem.  I gave the stink face to another dad and he understood what I was he checked his little girl...clean.  Now that we've validate 1) there is a stink and 2) it wasn't our kid, we looked at the third dad and said "you might want to check his pants".   The third dad smiled and said, "Nah...that was me".  Really!?